I hate playing the victim, but sometimes life can hit really freaking hard and you can scream and scream and it feels no one’s listening. They think your weird, they think something wrong with you just because your not socializing with others.
My name is Max. This senior year was something to say the least. I lost more friends then I count, I was having so many panic attacks, and overall just depressed. I wasn’t in the right state of mind to say the least. I did hard drugs, walked out on my mom countless nights, cussed out a teacher, cutting class, and missed school for a entire week. Just to keep to myself. Hell, I was lucky to graduate cause of all that. But there was people who cared. Bailey and Trey. Bailey is so sweet, It’s refreshing to finally meet someone gives a damn about my messed up life and wants to be there for me. She always ask how I’m doing, how I’m feeling, etc. And there’s Trey. Trey was my childhood best friend. We used to do everything together. Piss off our parents, riding our skateboards til the sun was gone, and played so many video games. I don’t why but we just haven’t talk for awhile. I guess we just grew apart. He’s popular, I’m not. I just wanna stay alone blast my music and just watch as my life gets shorter and shorter. When I have to go to work or go to school it’s just another reason to ask myself. “What’s the point”. I’m not accomplishing anything, I’m not worth anyone’s time, and I’m surely not worth moving on any longer. No one lives would be affected if I disappeared. Hell, they probably wouldn’t know it. I wish I could turn back time to the better days when I had a friend laugh with, mess with, to be happy with. And maybe make my life have meaning to it. The fact of the matter is I can’t and I’m living in this reality overthinking everything I do and the more I do it the I fall apart and trumble to the fact that I’m worthless and nobody gives a damn.
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